Papers > Miscellaneous > Amy's Drug Addled Rantings: 11-10-97
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Amy's Drug Addled Rantings: 11-10-97
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This is almost entirely unedited from it's original trip log format, only HTML formating and links have been added. I'm not sure if I was really high when I wrote this, but by looking at the date, I probably was. Probably involving some combination of DXM (in the third plateau range) and pot. ---------------------------- Hmm... It seems at times as though the whole point of this part of my life is to find some artificial system to interpret the way that life works. Almost like it is a normal function of being human to find some 'program' (does that deserve quotes?) to follow, something to define myself by. Something external. So what if I refuse? What would happen if either: a) I try to define my self by entirely internal references -or- b) refuse to define my self at all? I really don't know. As far as (a) goes, at least in terms of mathematic reasoning, Goedels Theorem seems to say that it is not possible to do that. The second option there seems to lead to suffering, and prolonged suffering (in my experience) seems to result in the individual being defined by their suffering, and in doing so, relieving that suffering, reducing it to a more superficial level. So, where do I go from here? Complete denial of self? Or do I just quit and give in? I used to be able to say that I was not a quitter, but that is no longer true, which is fine, one less definition of self, and that's fine by me. I used to be able to say that I was better than those around me, with reasonable certainty, but now I don't think so. I used to think that I had some special purpose here on Earth, that I was supposed to help out humanity in some way, but I've found that whenever I have an idea, it seems that somebody else had it before.
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Paper Information
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Title: Amy's Drug Addled Rantings: 11-10-97
Words: 1559
Rating: None
Pages: 6.2
submitted by: ameoba
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