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Papers > People > Natures of Love
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Natures of Love |
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The Natures of Love Loving is an active process. We gain perspective on love by comparing it to friendship. Love possesses higher levels of fascination, exclusiveness, sexual desire, caring, and the willingness to give one’s utmost. Love can also heighten one’s experience of positive emotions and simple enjoyment. Unfortunately, love also has its downside. In love relationships there is a greater potential for conflict, criticism, and distress. When compared to friendship, love offers a greater chance of both satisfaction and frustration, of both happiness and pain. Love is a more exclusive relationship than friendship. When we have a love relationship with one person, it precludes having a similar relationship with anyone else. Love is more intense; emotions are stronger. Love, at least in many ideal conceptions, is a permanent relationship, while friendship is more temporary. Love relationships are governed by the expectations and rules established by a society or culture. Research is currently devoted to identifying the ingredients of love. Keith Davis identifies two clusters of behaviors that characterize love; the passion cluster and the caring cluster. ... When we have a relationship of all three components to about equal degrees, we have a complete or consummate love. Intimacy (corresponding to part of the caring cluster) is the emotional aspect of love and includes sharing, communicating, and mutual support. It is the sense of closeness and connection that we feel when we are in love. ... It is the physical attraction we feel when in love. Passion leads us to want to be with the one that we love, although with time the force of passion declines. ... Commitment (corresponding to part of the caring cluster) is the cognitive aspect of love that may develop gradually but quicken as you realize that the relationship can be long-term. A relationship with commitment only, is an empty love. ... When we have a relationship with intimacy and passion, we have a romantic love. ... They see love as fun, as a game to be played. ... When we have a relationship with only commitment and intimacy, we have companionate love; a platonic commitment. ... When we have a relationship with only passion and commitment, we have fatuous love. ... ” With this love, you love intensely and at the same time worry about and fear the loss of the love. ... They are often unhappy with life and so devote a great deal of energy to love. |
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Title: Natures of Love
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