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Family Society |
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Combs 1 MARRIAGE INSTITUTIONS Marriage has been many times in jeopardy, and the marriage mores have drawn heavily on both property and religion for support; but the real influence which forever safeguards marriage and the resultant family is the simple and innate biologic fact that men and women positively will not live without each other, be they the most primitive savages or the most cultured mortals. ... The family, which grows out of marriage, is itself a stabilizer of the marriage institution together with the property mores. ... The human family is a distinctly human institution, an evolutionary development. Marriage is an institution of society, not a department of the church. ... The presence of large numbers of unmarried persons in any society indicates the temporary breakdown or the transition of the mores. The real test of marriage, all down through the ages, has been that continuous intimacy which is inescapable in all family life. ... But just so long as society fails to properly educate children and youths, so long as the social order fails to provide adequate premarital training, and so long as unwise and immature youthful idealism is to be the arbiter of the entrance upon marriage, just so long Combs 3 will divorce remain prevalent. ... But young men and women should be taught something of the realities of marriage before Combs 4 they are plunged into the exacting demands of the interassociations of family life; youthful idealization should be tempered with some degree of premarital disillusionment. The youthful idealization of marriage should not, however, be discouraged; such dreams are the visualization of the future goal of family life. This attitude is both stimulating and helpful providing it does not produce an insensitivity to the realization of the practical and commonplace requirements of marriage and subsequent family life. ... In concept, at least, the family is becoming a loyal partnership for rearing offspring, accompanied by sexual fidelity. ... Marriage is not just an individualistic ideal; it is the evolving social partnership of a man and a woman, existing and functioning under the current mores, restricted by the taboos, and enforced by the laws and regulations of society. ... The institution of marriage is clearly in trouble even as its importance to our society is coming more sharply into focus. Children need the stable long-term environment provided by the traditional family of yesteryear. ... We all have a vested interest in strengthening the traditional family. ... PART II There is a real concern for parents to deal effectively with their children in today’s society. Parents desperately seek the healthy balance between demanding careers, children’s needs and today’s changing family structure and parental roles. ... Role conflict and role strain can occur in these kinds of family situations, especially if the parents are not in agreement as to who is going to take how much responsibility to meet the developmental needs of the child. When an infant is added to the family system, the source of the difficulty seems to be the major increase in both role conflict, having two or more roles that are incompatible with each other and role strain, not having the skills to fulfill all one’s roles. ... However, despite the drop in happiness and marital satisfaction at this point in the family life cycle, having a child also brings profound satisfactions, including a greater sense of purpose, worth, or life meaning, a sense of being “grown up,” and a shared joy between Combs 7 husband and wife. ... The other two forms of role taking that are consequential for child socialization and family relations are: triadic relationships, and family as a unit. ... The mom may also see herself, child, dad from the perspective of the family as a whole. This role is important when welfare of the family as a unit is at issue. ... These methods vary widely from family to family and culture to culture. Within the same family, discipline styles also change over time, in step with the child’s increasing social and cognitive maturity. According to contemporary researchers, family discipline and decision making patterns can be organized into three basic groups which is elaborated by Combs 9 Baumrind. ... There is minimal discussion of family rule, and parents are usually prepared to use force to compel obedience if necessary. ... Role taking is critical to be modeled to children by parents since this is vital for the pychological, emotional and cognitive development of self and society and essential for human life. ... Role-taking abilities develop through initial learning of language, social roles, and participating in family rituals and activities. The parent demonstrates the role of a parent, spouse, employee, sibling a citizen of society etc. ... In today’s society this would account for the greater role taking skills of women compared to men, political minorities, compared to majorities in our society, adolescent children compared to their parents. ... A strong moral commitment to the parent role helps the parent to evaluate situations using the normative rules and moral guidelines that bind the family as a unit. Perspective taking, which is important for parents for second-level role taking simply helps to moderate self-centeredness and for third-level role taking, it enables the parent to identify the family unit as a unique entity among other social groups. ... It also enables the parent to assist the child in understanding how the norms and values of the family as a unit can be applied in all kinds of social situations. ... The combination of the following traits have demonstrated in achieving strong healthy families: communication, sharing together, acknowledgement of each member’s contributions, spiritual outlook on life, sense of community (willingness to help others), pride and pleasure in family traditions and rituals. ... Socially, it was the norm, in the past, for women to stay at home having a more expressive role in the family; taking care of the children and providing emotional support for the family. ... Recent studies reflect an increased trend towards the dual income family and projections are for this trend to continue. ... 26) In light of the fact that the majority of two parent families in the 1990s have also become dual wage earning families, it is important to examine the effects of such a phenomenon on society in general and on child rearing in particular. ... When considering these modifications to the family dynamics, there is considerable basis for proof that the positive effects outweigh the negative effects experienced by offspring in families were both parents are employed. The working parent occupies an important exemplary role within the family. ... A study by Hoffman in 1974 corroborates these observations and therefore one can conclude that, in general, the working parent provides a very positive role model for the child in a family where both parents are employed. ... When considering content, a major point is the preparation of the child for a society in which those children will be adults. Currently, a child has a 50% chance of becoming divorced, and in the case of a female, a 50% chance of becoming a single mother as well as the probability of becoming a member of a dual wage earning family. ... Healthy family dynamics including team work, sharing, and responsibility, are more easily adopted when they are already familiar. ... Because society has changed, the familys function within society has changed as well. ... The next generation of parents will be more confident than their predecessors and they and their children will probably never experience the dichotomous feelings that todays parents have about the dual income family and its effects on child rearing. ... Combs 18 PART III SAME SEX MARRIAGES The proposed legalization of same-sex marriage is one of the most significant issues in contemporary American family law. ... If same-sex marriage is legalized, it could be one of the most revolutionary policy decisions in the history of American family law. ... When two adults desire to contract in the eyes of the law, as well a perhaps promise in the eyes of the Lord and their friends and family, to be responsible for the obligations of marriage as well as to enjoy its benefits, should the law prohibit their request merely because they are of the same gender? ... In Western law, wives are now equal rather than subordinate partners; interracial marriage is now widely accepted, both in statute and in society; and marital failure itself, rather than the fault of one partner, may be grounds for a divorce. ... Bigotry and prejudice still exist in our evolving society, and traditionally people fear what is strange and unfamiliar to them. |
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